Ways of Seeing

New video/ tour/ feelings about being perceived

Jun 10, 2023

A few years ago I read Ways of Seeing, by John Berger — it really affected how I interpret images, art, advertisements, value (commercial value in art), the layout of cities…

I started seeing my current therapist early last year, and she has a copy sitting on her bookshelf. The last book in the row, with the cover facing me during every session. My eyes often land there when I’m trying to figure out what to say or how to say it.

There are a few important ideas I carry around from that work. In no particular order:

In an age where art is reproducible en mass, what makes an original of value? Is value calculated simply by the work’s survival over time?

Art criticism can dilute one’s personal experience of a work - like publishing one’s taste as scientific fact.

“A woman is always accompanied — except when quite alone, and perhaps even then — by her own image of herself.”

This point really haunts me, and I feel it deeply and painfully. It’s such an all-encompassing entrapment to be monitoring one’s self during every waking hour, totally aware of how we look when we cry or eat or sing or walk or scream…

ON THAT NOTE!!!

I put out a song the other day that samples a bit of audio from the Ways of Seeing program. My very talented friend Ben Sloan did animation over the video and I am so happy with how it turned out. That being said! I thought a lot about Mr. Berger while I was making that video, as the start of the process involved me performing solo to a camera, trying to create as much interest as I could drum up with very little else happening on or off screen. I was aware of how silly or pudgy or ridiculous I may look the whole time, and it honestly took a lot of effort to push through that feeling in order to make something that worked.

I edited my own videos this time around to save on the cost of an editor (did you know making videos is very very very expensive?), and that experience embodies that last point I mentioned above - the surveillance of one’s own image and how it will be subsequently consumed by random people is… trying on the psyche, I have to say. If you struggle with body dysmorphia:

You’re not alone
Maybe don’t make a video of yourself alone dancing in front of a camera and then edit it for hours alone in your basement
If you do, make sure you have a therapy appointment scheduled the next day.

I’m rambling! Here’s the video. Also I’m going on tour! Please come say hi… tour dates listed below.

Please also feel free to comment on these posts, I’m so curious what y’all are listening to, what you’re reading, how you’re doing, how you’re surviving the wildfires or the june gloom or just your own ennui. I’m listening to a lot of Tinariwen. <3 M